Women, our beautiful selves

I popped into the grocery store today after a rigourous workout on the bike, clocking 9 miles and a high resistance level.  I was very proud that I made the gym a priority on a beautiful 90 degree day in Buffalo, NY.  My legs were throbbing and for the very first time, I dared to wear those yoga, type, boy shorts. 

I thought to myself, do I dare go into the grocery store looking like this?  I had a workout jacket in the car, so I thought why not.  I was proud of my very toned and muscular legs that I have earned with rigourous five day a week workouts. I put the jacket on and in I went.

I didn't have much time as my nephew was helping with yard work and I was picking up some things to serve him lunch.  I ran through the produce isle gathering lettuce and tomatoes, then onto the deli counter, trying not to be aware if anyone was looking at me strangely with those boy shorts on!

I grabbed a number at the counter.  Even though it was a beautiful day, it was still very busy at the grocery store.  It is always packed on a sunday and the deli area was no exception. As I stood there waiting my turn, I heard a woman giggling.  I turned my head to see this very little person, scantily clothed in a black dress, that barely covered her "glutes" with five inch sexy gator heels on.  Her hair, brunette with some blonde highlights. She couldn't have been more than a size two at best!  As if that wasn't bad enough!  She was holding a waffle sundae from Cold Stone Creamery! She stood next to her boyfriend who was wearing a casual red and black plaid shirt over tan shorts with flip flops who apparently was ordering some deli meats.

Yes, did I just want to shoot her? Absolutely! Here I was on a blistering hot day, working my own "glutes" on a bike at the gym and she is going to Cold Stone Creamery! I couldn't help myself, I leaned over to the man standing next to me at the counter that was intently starring at her, (what man wouldn't?) and said " I hate her!" He laughed and I laughed too.

Just then, my eyes went to another beautiful woman, waiting at the deli counter. She was blonde, a bright smile, small framed as well , but wearing a navy blue and white hankerchief like casual shirt over long grey shorts and flip flops. One child in the front seat of a large cart, the other child in the back of the cart in a car seat, with groceries surrounding him. 

I smiled at her, walked toward her and told her how beautiful her children were.  She thanked me, appearing a little frazzled.  She shared with me that he husband is out of town most of the time and that her children are adopted and that she didn't bear them.  I quietly looked at this woman of natural beauty and said " you bore them from your heart."  She smiled. 

Pondering three very different woman standing at the deli counter, it reminded me of how very different we all are, yet how precious and beautiful we are in our own ways.  The seductive youth, the natural love of a mother, resonating through her face, and the strength of woman determined to be as fit and toned as she can be.

Kimberley

Clean Eating and Sage advice from Holland, NY

Spring is in the air and summer will soon be upon us.  That means all the wonderful fresh fruits and vegetables will be available at the grocery stores and local farmers markets. I always look forward to visiting the markets with all the delectable smells and the variety of color, the fresh flowers that the growers bring with them.  Perhaps one of my most favorite parts about the local markets are the growers themselves. I love to spend the time to chat with them and get to know their unique ways of farming and get to know them as people. 

This is also a great time to focus on getting our eating habits back on track and feeding our bodies the very best food!  I know we hear it everywhere, but with our very busy lives do we really make feeding our bodies healthy foods a priority?  I know for me this will be a renewed focus over the next few weeks and months to come. 

"Clean eating" seems to be a new phrase these days, so I have taken the time to investigate what the intention is.  Clean eating is nothing more than a focus on eating foods that strengthen and sustain our physical selves.  Whole grains, vegetables, fruits, lean protein, fats that are the "good fats" and a certain amount of dairy.  No sugar! That's the hardest for me.  I can do without the pasta (which took me about a year of withdrawal, I only have it once in awhile now), I can pass on the white bread and white rice. But! I have the hardest time passing on sugar in my coffee and cookie every few days!

I learned long ago from two wonderfully wise women, who I met when living in Holland,NY, that moderation is the key to living a healthy life.  These women were in their mid to late 80's when I met them and they grew up when people cooked with lard!  These women were healthy and vibrant, going to church every sunday, involved in bridge, garden and book clubs.  The one woman who was approaching 90 still drove a car and visited those who were "shut-ins."  She is still one of my life mentors!  I will never forget her. 

So, as all of us in the year 2012 focus on clean eating, exercising and healthy lives, I ask us all to ponder the wisdom of these ladies.

More to come on these wonderful women in the following days of my blog.  I feel that you my readers, will fall in love with them just as I have!




Love and Light,
  Kimberley

Moving On with Your Life...





There are moments in time that we just know that its time to "move on." Life has its own way of moving us forward, even when we don't want to.  We reluctantly go, kicking and screaming.  Not wanting to walk away from our comfort zone.

Whatever you comfort zone is: your current job that you have been in for years, the weight you have been carrying around that feels like a huge burden, the relationship you just know isn't working for you

The signs come, sometimes big, sometimes by small whispers.  But they do come!  I encourage you my readers to listen, listen closely.

Make the decision to change your life!  You don't have to live trapped under that weight, in that relationship , in that job that you absolutely hate.  Make the decision.  You have choices.  We all do.  It's up to us and only us to take a different road.

Saying goodbye and Saying Hello all at the same time!

So, several weeks ago, I posted a blog about my baby boy Ben.  I never ended up putting him down the next day after I wrote the blog. I am happy to say that God gave me many more weeks with my boy! He began improving and eating like a little champ.  He got to share some time with his sister Bella and he and I got some great cuddle time in!  Ben always liked to lay down next to me and put his paws on my face.  One particular night, when I was crying about him being so sick, he laid those little paws on my cheeks and wiped away my tears. He looked me straight in the eyes as he laid them on my face several times as if to say "Mommy don't cry, it will be ok."

He was making strides, gaining weight and wanting to once again play with some toys.  I was hopeful that he and I could turn this around.  However, God had another plan and my little boy died this past Tuesday because the cancer spread to his lungs.

I still long to hear him calling me when I walk in the door and look at me with those expressive eyes.  A friend of mine used to say that Ben would talk some day.  He did talk.  I always knew what he was saying to me.  He was a sweet, gentle, loving spirit.  The days have gotten a little better, yet the tears are still very close at hand.  Could I have tried something else?  I will never know and I must trust that I did the right thing by my little guy.

Some of you who are my dearest friends know that I named him after the little boy I always wanted.  Perhaps that is why this is so incredibly painful.  I don't know.  The little boy in my novel, soon to be published is named Ben as well. Perhaps the success of the book will be his gift to me.  I don't know.  What I do know is that I loved him like he was my child and that I miss him terribly.

My focus now must be to move my life forward and make my dreams come true.  I still have my crazy twins at home (cats that is! ) and they need my love and caring just as Ben did.

Here is to looking forward to brighter days ahead!    






Kimberley

"In the midst of all of this,yes, I am making a shower curtain!" Mom

I love this quote.  I laughed when I heard it. It gave me a new perspective on looking at my life right now.

My mom was  raising four children and babysitting someone elses child during the day for some extra money. In addition, we had a dog or two, cats and perhaps the duck and the rabbit were in there somewhere.

The woman whose child my mom was caring for came into the house one day to see the four of us running around the house, playing with the dog, the rabbit was out of its cage and her daughter was joining in on the fun.  It was a bit loud and chaotic needless to say.

And there in the dining room, amongst the sounds of little feet and a barking dog, was my mother at the sewing machine making a shower curtain of all things. Calm as could be, the stitches as straight as a ruler, my mother looked up and greeted the woman who exclaimed " five kids, a dog and a rabbit running around and here you are making a shower curtain like nothing else is happening?"

My mom told me that the chaos never really phased her too much.  She just took it as a part of life.

Well, I just love that story because I wish I just had one ounce of that attitude that my mom had when chaos surrounded her in her home.

Right now, my cat Ben has made his little home in my master suite as he and I cure him from a cancer diagnosis.  My other two, Bailey and Bella have been sequestered to separate rooms in the house as they have decided that they were going to act out now that Ben is getting all the attention and start hissing, growling and fighting.  I rotate them daily down in the basement and on the first floor so they can get exercise and still know each others scent.  But, it is a challenge as most of the rooms in the house are closed off  to avoid any further cat confrontations.


As I was at my wits end this week with these goings on in my house, my mother shared this story with me.  I envied her calm spirit!

However, each day is getting better.  Ben is gaining weight, the other two are getting used to the new routine and I have found some holistic therapies to try and calm them down.  I can sense the peace coming back with each day.

A huge thank you goes out to my mother for sharing this story and helping me to keep it all in perspective. Perhaps I too will attempt to make a shower curtain!

Kimberley

Surrender....

The art of taking one day at a time. I never quite knew what that felt like until these last few years of my life.  I always thought you had to have goals and a plan and if you worked hard and played by all the rules, you would meet that goal.  Well, what if, that plan didn't work as you thought it was supposed to?  What if everything that you envisioned your life to be at this point - wasn't?  What if you didn't know how or when things were going to change for the better?  What if one day you just said to God, "you know what, I have no clue how this is all going to turn out and what the next steps are."  " How am I going to change this around so that truly all will be well once again? 

His answer:  Be still.  Surrender.

My response: Silence and a tear.

When life interrupts the writer. Lord hear our Prayer.

My life in the last two months has put a complete halt to my writing.  I miss it terribly.  I haven't even had the time to write my Morning Pages, which is something I have done religiously for the last six years of my life.

The pieces of paper cry out to me, yet, my heart belongs to my feline family who have been in such need of me.  The focus,  the worry, the anger, the denial, the hope, the solution seeking of curing one who clearly wants to be well again.  The perplexing behaviour of two who at one time slept together in peacefullness, yet now fight at the mere smell of one another. 

Inside, my heart cries.  For the peaceful, loving and free life we all once had and yearn for once again. The tears flow from exhaustion, love, hope, grief of a life we had not long ago and the new life that is now forming,  yet unclear.

The pages yearn for the flow of my thoughts once again.  My hands seek to create.

Lord, hear my prayer for myself and my feline family. That we may have our peaceful, loving and free life we so desire. That the time for my writing and all the other things I so love in my life reappears. That our little Ben's wellness overcomes whatever is ailing him.

Lord hear our prayer.








Kimberley, Ben, Bailey and Bella.