Pleasure, the other side of Pain

Being in Love and getting your heartbroken (pain) are often two sides of the same coin. The feelings are the same. One feels like they are dropping into depths so deep its hard to capture into words.

Is this why our society has been so captured by the Fifty Shades of Grey novels? Did E.L James bring out the obvious? or was she reminding us of the primal needs we all have of love at some deep level?

Do we all secretly wish we had our own "Christians and Ana's?" People balk at the whole mention of BDSM - the whole notion of pain and pleasure. I too have pondered what the fascination is with this and why are certain people attracted to it while others fear it?

I never read the erotica genre until people started talking about this book. Not wanting to join in on the bandwagon, I didn't read it for a year or two after it came out. It fascinated me. Why were women all over the globe so taken with this?

We have come so far as women in the world, rising to the top of corporations, non-for-profit foundations, running our own businesses, raising amazing children, holding top positions in our governments yet, this trilogy sent women into a world of floggers and spankings.

My niece and I even talked about this "rage" and what was so special about it. She told me " Aunt Kim - you should write in this genre, there isn't a lot of good writers out there."  I laughed and thought to myself, "what is in those books?, are they just another form of Harlequin?"  Since then there are many other people who have asked if I was writing in that genre.

So, I broke down and bought the books. I read all three of them in a week! I began to understand what was capturing women. I even heard that there were men reading these books , to understand why the women in their life were so captivated.

I then went on to read other authors in this same genre. Some of them bored me to tears and others were some of the hottest sex scenes I had ever read, imagined, seen..

I have started writing novel number two and I am still unsure whether or not it wants to be in the erotica genre or whether its going to be another romance/mystery. It is still revealing itself to me.

As a woman who has been head over heels in love and who has had her heart shattered in a million pieces that I never thought I would recover - I now feel like I understand this dichotomy of pain and pleasure.

Do I understand the draw of pain and pleasure in the BDSM world? Not sure, the jury is still out for me on it.

I know that this is a departure from my typical musings on my blog. I would enjoy your thoughts on this. Even well known author Tim Ferris, just went out on a limb and posted a blog about polyamory this week.
http://fourhourworkweek.com/2015/10/13/polyamory/#more-22048

So, if he can , I guess I can too!

Love, Light, Pleasure and Pain to all of you!

Kimberley

Julia Cameron's , the Artist Way and Tim Ferris

This morning at around 5am, I forced myself out of bed because sleep was just not coming to me. I tossed and turned all night as grief filled my heart for a friend who has made a decision to return to his hometown in Europe. We have only known each other for a few short months, but he had made an impact on my life of which he is probably unaware of. The night sky was filled with lighting and thunderstorms, unsettled and needing expression. I knew how Mother Nature felt. And I knew what I needed to do to ease the pain of my heart. I needed to write and I needed my trusted cup of coffee!

So, I got up and I quietly went downstairs to the kitchen (so as not to disturb the guests in the house) and started making my coffee and fed the cats. The smell alone of the cinnamon in the coffee was starting to soothe my heart.

The cats got fed and I poured my coffee in trusty red mug and I went upstairs to write my Morning Pages. I grabbed a book on Gratitude that I have been reading and re-reading over the last few months. The book is titled, The Magic, by Rhonda Byrne. She is the woman who is infamous for writing The Secret.

I knew I needed to do something to look at life from a different perspective and to start feeling better. And I knew that little book would help. And so, I read and I started writing.

As I wrote my thoughts drifted and I was compelled to look at my personal facebook page. And what did I find but Tim Ferris's blog on writing The Morning Pages.

As always, the Universe brings things to me just when I need them. So, I stopped my own writing to read what Tim's blog had to say. His words soothed my soul because he dared to bare his emotions, this man who I have admired from afar for so many years. At the end of his blog there is an opportunity to leave a comment, and I did. A long comment. A heartfelt comment that I wrote as if I were writing a letter to him. The words flowed easily and effortlessly from my heart as they often do when my heart feels broken.

Tim doesn't let comments get published until they are reviewed, I do the same. So, my words cannot be seen as of yet. Does it matter to me that they be seen by the world? No. What matters is that I wrote them and that I feel better. The night storm has passed and the sun has shone itself on the maple trees outside my office window.

Just like Psalms 30:5 says: "Weeping may endure for a night but joy cometh in the morning."

Thank you Tim Ferris, thank you Julia Cameron for the practice of "The Morning Pages." I am grateful to you both. Tim, if you happen to read my comments and hop on over to my blog page and read this, I would love to meet you! You truly are an inspiration to me!

For those of you who would like to read Tim Ferris's blog post that I am refering to, here is the link:

http://fourhourworkweek.com/2015/01/15/morning-pages/comment-page-5/#comment-799006


Blessings to Everyone on this Sunday Morning,

Kimberley