It's been a few weeks since my Mother died. My heart still feels frozen, yet, there are times I can feel it thaw out just a bit. I am glad to have those moments and in my mind, I know that eventually I won't feel so much like someone threw a ton of bricks at me. I find it hard to get motivated to do the smallest things and I am grateful that life somehow forces us to move on.
There is good that has come of her passing and I choose to focus my heart and mind on those things. How can good come from someone's death you ask? Well, she doesn't have to deal with endless doctors appointments anymore, she doesn't have to be afraid that she can't breathe, she doesn't have to fear the four stairs in my back hallway and her husband can finally get the rest he so deserves. I am grateful that she didn't end up in a nursing home where her spirit would have died long before her body would have.
My Mother gave us a great legacy to carry on. She was a wonderful Mother and taught us so much about unconditional love, about the value of family and so much more. My Mother touched the lives of many people and was an amazing artist, writer, cook, seamstress, and self made interior designer. She never stopped learning and teaching herself new things. I know where I get it from now!
Her strength to endure life's challenges was admirable. She overcame breast cancer, healed through two divorces and she pulled through nearly dying three years ago when she was admitted to the hospital five times after her second hip replacement. How did she do it? What drove her to overcome all of these circumstances? The answer: LOVE.
The LOVE she had for her family was what drove my Mother to live. She was determined to be there for her children and see her grandchildren grow up . And she did that! Her heart was as big as this planet Earth! She had a heart that loved so many. The evidence seen by all the wonderful people who attended her wake and shared their heartfelt memories of her.
And so , as I struggle to overcome the frozen feelings inside, I think about the amazing POWER of LOVE.
The LOVE of my friends who have surrounded me since the day my Mother died. The LOVE of my family who came and filled my house with laughter and joy during those days after her death. The LOVE of a new male friend who has supported me through this and makes me laugh everyday! The LOVE of text messages that come unexpectedly to see how I am. The LOVE of clients and employers that lent their understanding and support.
As I ponder this amazingly strong force of life called LOVE, I feel that this will be the force that will help me regain my spirit and allow me to once again LIVE a life I LOVE.
When we use LOVE, we are using the greatest Power in the Universe. And this is what I must be mindful of and focus on. I must use this amazing power to set me free and feel LIFE once again.
And how will I do this? I will DO what I LOVE each day. I will focus my thoughts on LOVE. I will BE all that I LOVE to be. I will HAVE those people and things in my life that I LOVE.
And I will LOVE my Mother with all my heart.
May all of you who have experienced the death of a parent, find a way to heal yourselves through the POWER OF LOVE.
Kimberley
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