" You think you Have Seen Her Naked?"

    
Such a great title isn't it? It definitely captured my attention!


My sister found this and posted it on Facebook about a week ago.

As many of you single women out there in the sea of the dating world know- yes, I am with you out there as well, we yearn for a man to see us for who we truly are , not just for our physical appearance.

We yearn for them to look into our soul and fall in love with that woman , the girl that still lives inside despite the number on her drivers' license, the woman who is busy taking care of her kids and family and at the end of the day fall's asleep on the laundry room floor from exhaustion, the woman who is struggling to get her degree and work a job at the same time, the woman who sometimes doesn't have time to put makeup on, the woman who takes an hour and half to get ready for that special dinner you are taking her to, the woman who really wants to fit into those size 6 jeans but is still hovering at size 14 and enjoying the delicious plate of pasta!

I have been out in the sea of dating for quite some time now. Each date I go on, I learn something about myself and something about the person I am with. My perspective on people and dating has evolved and grown over the years. I look at relationships on a more spiritual plane now - not a religious plane - a place of connectivity and love of the soul, not solely based on looks. Don't get me wrong, I love handsome men! They are truly yummy! And my girlfriends laugh at me every time a hot guy walks by us in a restaurant and I can't help but stare and wonder!!!!!  Hahaha!

But life is so much more than that. And what we send out into the world, comes back to us for sure- so ladies don't judge men based on looks alone, they are people too, with quirks and life lessons learned of their own.

And so, no matter how many dates that I go on, and how many different men I have met over time - I think this poem sums it up for me.

Do you really see me for who I truly am?

Men wearing Backwards Baseball Caps on First Dates?

So, I went on a first date with someone last night and to my surprise he greeted me in a backwards baseball cap, a t-shirt, jeans and sneakers. The topper - he was chewing gum!

I was shocked to say the least. I took my time to shower, get nicely dressed in a blue blouse that contrasted with my auburn hair, a nice pair of black jeggings with black boots and a coat that was yellow with ruffles that complemented the blue. I curled my hair and took the time with my makeup.

Clearly he didn't take the time to do much of anything! Immediately I knew that there wasn't going to be a second date! And the date got even more interesting when he said "let's go get a table" and proceeded to walk away from me and sat down. He didn't take my drink with him or offer to carry my coat.

He didn't take notice that the waitress didn't bring me the water I asked for when she brought my wine and he slurped his drink down in less than 10 minutes. He didn't talk much except to divulge to me that he in fact didn't work at a family business as he told me ahead of time - he worked for FedEx.  Now, I don't care if that is what you do for a job, but why lie about it?

He proceeded to ask me if I play darts and I replied " not unless I have had a few drinks." He said "well then order another drink" I don't drink that much and certainly not on an empty stomach, I replied.

He didn't even respond by asking me if I wanted something to eat. He just kind of looked at me and let the silence sit between us. I felt like I had drag the conversation out of him. It wasn't until I asked him about his workouts did he begin to talk. The good news is that he gave me some great information on what I needed to do to strengthen my back and wrists so that was helpful!

I couldn't wait any longer, I had to eat , so I took it upon myself to flag the waitress down and order an appetizer.

The hummus and pita bread came and of course, I asked him if he would like to share and he took me up on the offer!

We chatted a bit more and I just needed to end this evening because it was uncomfortable and he wasn't really asking me a whole lot of questions to get to know me. I had to get out of there! I flagged the waitress down and asked her for the bill.

You guessed it! He didn't offer to pay, nor did he offer to split the bill for the appetizer!

I politely said goodnight and went on my merry way. I was thankful for the information I received about my workouts but decided that there were parameters I needed to set for a first date.

Maybe I am old fashioned, but perhaps men need to understand that women like guys that get dressed to see them on a first date, fifth date, tenth date etc. It's a turn on! Backwards baseball caps, chewing gum, t-shirt and jeans is not a turn on! Nor is not treating a woman like a lady and carrying her drink for her!

And not asking her if she wants something to eat! Way to really make sure you never see her again!

I don't get it? Men could have women eating out of their hands if they treated them right! And I know there are men out there that know how to do that!  Perhaps there needs to be a class that men take to teach them the tips on dating and capturing a woman.

And I am certain that there are men out there who have something to say about first dates and women. I would love to hear them! Tips are always helpful!

Here's to Men that are Classy and take the time to Dress!

Kimberley