Authentic Happiness

 


I reunited with a favorite book of mine this morning, Simple Abundance by Sara Ban Breathnach - a find from a friend long ago. It is a book of daily musings and inspirations . This book has been my companion for so many years giving me comfort and thoughts to ponder on my life's journey. In fact, this book has meant so much to me that I have given it as gifts to friends on so many special occasions.

I flipped to a random page that happened to be in July. The subject was living a life of dreaming or expectations, so timely for me as I ponder the next few years of my life. On those pages, I once again found solace. You see, I am a driven person, always reaching for my goals - or "another mountain" as my Mother used to say. However, at this point in my life, yes, I want to always be creating and exploring things in this wonderful world we live in - but I don't want to "strive" so much anymore. And by that I mean beating myself up for not reaching a goal right away or not achieving some of things I thought I would at this point in my life.

I am way too hard on myself with some very high expectations. I have always been this way. But I feel at this chapter of my life, it's time to change. It's time to dream yes, and put effort into those dreams, but perhaps the end goal isn't so much the expectation I have when I get there..but the happiness that comes from just "doing " those things that make me happy.

Being authentically happy with myself and my life is really is what is of utmost importance to me right now.

Oprah Winfrey talks about one of her favorite books by Gary Zukav,"The Seat of the Soul"... and how she learned to start leading her life with intention. I know understand what that means and I intend to live an authentically happy life, whatever that means to me.. whether its taking a cooking class, learning to use the camera my Mom bought me so many years ago, baking, publishing, writing, teaching.. I intend to live a life that isn't full of continuous striving - but full of authentic happiness - for me.

Books are an amazing source of inspiration to me - they teach me, they inspire me, they comfort me and they help me grow into being a better person than I was yesterday.

Thank you Sara, thank you Oprah, thank you Gary - for being the teachers you are and giving us your gifts.

Love and Light,
Kimberley

A Friends Visit at 3am

I have been so touched by this since the day it happened that I truly needed to share it. You probably think that this would be a story of a friend who knocked on my door unexpectedly out of the clear blue.

But no , that isn't what happened.

A long lost lover ?

No.

Instead this is a story about true friendship, love , caring.

Last weekend I came down with THE WORST stomach flu that I can remember. It came out of nowhere after having a wonderful evening with a dear friend of mine downtown.

I literally threw up almost every hour starting at 9 or 10pm. I had the chills and I was sweating all at the same time. My cats had no idea what was going on!

I tried talking activated charcoal with some applesauce as I swore this was food poisoning!

Well, that didn't work so well!

I drank some water to keep hydrated and that was the wrong thing to do!

By the wee hours of the night, my body was truly exhausted and I started to feel faint.

Yet, my stomach just kept on with it's violent attacks.

For the first time in my adult life, I was afraid to be alone , fearing that in fact, I would pass out , I felt that sick. What would happen if I did pass out? Would I hit my head? Who would find me? What about my cats? All these fears kept racing through my mind.

I called for help. And my girlfriend Angie - answered right away.

I could only stay on the line for a brief moment as my stomach once again raged on.

I crawled from the bathroom to the kitchen and made it to the door to unlock it for my friend to get into the house.

She arrived somewhere between three and four in the morning.. I can't recall.

And she sat with me . We watched HGTV and commented on which house the person should buy.

She brought me some water as I threw up yet again while she was there.

Finally, through sheer exhaustion. My eyes drew heavy and sleep was calling.

And my girlfriend continued to sit with me.

She sat with me until she knew I was going to fall asleep and that it was safe to go.

I did sleep, not for long, but I did.

The stomach flu continued its ugliness through the next few days, but my heart was so full of gratitude and love for my friend.

I will never forget this act of kindness in the middle of the night, when fear gripped my mind.

I am crying as I write this for the love my friend showed to me. Truly I will never forget what she did for me.

Sometimes all we need is a friend.

Kimberley