Turning Grief into a Dream Not Left Behind

And so as my family and I walk through the weeks following the death of our Mother, Grandmother, Wife, Great Grandmother, we all are processing this differently - yet we are keeping in contact with one another , supporting one another and loving each other through our grief.

Yesterday afternoon was rough for me, I did what I knew to overcome the dark sadness that lurked in my solar plexus in the morning. I went to the gym and pushed my body to the limit, so I could feel something, anything other than the pain of the grief. The gym has always been a way for me to process challenges in my life. I drove myself for two hours and was successful for a time until my girlfriends called me afterwards and I cried with them through the sadness . They reminded me that these times will come and go and that they will be there to help me move through them.

I told them I wanted to put the sadness behind me and find that inner motivation,drive that has always been inside me to accomplish things in my life. My girlfriend reminded me that it's there, maybe hidden, but it was something my Mom always supported in me. She was my number one cheerleader and always, always had faith in me that I could move the next mountain I decided to climb in my life. And yes, maybe she isn't here physically , but she is with me in the spirit realm of life, watching and guiding me.

And so, as I prepare for the days and weeks ahead in 2016, I know three things: I will publish my Mother's works as she asked me to , not two months ago , I will publish my own book and I will continue to write on my blog. My Mother loved reading my blog posts and in fact, I can recall one day , she called me and said " I just read one of your blog posts, congratulations, the batton has been passed to you my daughter, you are a beautiful writer." Oh my god, the tears strolled down my face, knowing what an amazing writer my Mother has been since I was a child! This was one of the biggest compliments she ever gave me.

Today, is a new day, I have only shed a few tears today and my inner motivation is coming back. I will turn my grief into making some of my Mother's and my dreams come true in 2016.

For all of you out there who has had parents, grandparents, spouses pass on, find the good that they gave to you! Honor them, keep their legacy alive by celebrating them!  Let the grief be a catalyst to something new, beautiful and amazing!

Love and Light,

Kimberley

Inspiration - "InSpirit"

Wayne Dyer continues to fill my morning writings and my thoughts as I walk through these days looking for motivation and support to continue on my life's purpose. I need him to see me through this. My books call to me - publish me. Write me.  Answer my calling. Share yourself with the world.

My cat Bailey sits all cozy on my red bathroom on the chair next to me keeping me company and watching me type. He is content and happy watching the letters appear on the page. The house is quiet as I write. I listen with attentive ears for my friend who is downstairs in my guest bedroom, healing from hip surgery. Will he stir while I write? I hope that I will be able to keep my morning writing ritual this morning without him needing me.

This is my favorite time of day to write as there are no distractions from the world quite yet and I can be alone with my books and my thoughts. And so I listen to Wayne Dyer talk about Inspiration and those that have inspired him in his life. Does he know that "He" has been my inspiration? My spiritual inspiration, my mentor as each day I reaffirm my purpose with his voice in my ears.

In his video on Inspiration, he talks of the story of Vincent Van Gogh  and Don Mclean's song that he wrote in the honor of the famous painter. I didn't know that this painter shot himself because his soul was in such turmoil. And who knew that his paintings never sold until his death? When I listen to Serena Dyer sing the song, Starry Starry Night, my heart was filled with sadness over such greatness feeling such grief within himself. How can that be? How can he create such amazing works, yet feel such depths of darkness?

His mother gave him the same name as she had given to a son born about a year prior who was still born. He felt like a replacement child? Oh, I see it as another chance, another try to bring the baby who was meant to be on this earth to life. Yet, he struggled. How I wish he could have known how wonderful he was while he was still alive. He died too young.

"One of the essential principles of living an inspired life is the knowing that our desires don't always arrive on our schedule. They arrive when they are supposed to. "  I stopped the youtube video several types to hear Wayne Dyer tell me that over and over and over again. I know he was speaking to me as I long for my first book to be published.

And so as I struggle to keep my promise to myself that I would write everyday and that yes, I will be a published author and my other private dreams will come true, I think of Wayne Dyer and all the people that inspired his life's work and his story of  Vincent Van Gogh. I don't think I will ever forget it.

I will not let my dreams die with me. I will live to see them come alive, no matter the effort , no matter when the time.

Dear Dr. Dyer - You Inspire Me! I hope you are hearing these words as I speak them in my head and type them on the computer screen. Thank you , I love you for being there for me, each day, each piece I write, each word I speak. You Inspire Me!

Kimberley