I am a writer, yes I am. However, some days the words don't come. The words haven't come in over a week. Why does this happen we ask ourselves? One would think that in times of great emotion, the words would come pouring out. Well, sometimes the emotion is so overwhelming the words get buried. They hide until the heart begins the healing process. I cannot remember the last time I didn't write my Morning Pages for an entire week!
The Morning Pages are a routine, no, a meditation or "practice" of sorts. In no way are they routine that would minimize them to brushing your teeth or something so mundane. That would devalue them. The Morning Pages are something I learned from my fourth grade sunday school teacher, Sharon Jackson. An amazing woman in so many ways, sometime I will tell you about her. I had the good fortune to be able to reconnect with her as an adult before she died of lung cancer. I only had three visits with her, but those visits were life impacting for me.
I was at a transition point in my life at the time and Sharon asked me.. "Kim, what would you like to do." I laughed and said, you know.. I have so many dating stories, I bet I could write some great romance novels! I laughed at the thought. And she replied, "then you should do it!" It was then she told me about Julia Cameron, her book the Artists Way and the Morning Pages. Three, free-hand pages that are written each morning, to keep your writing alive.
I began writing those pages in 2005. I write them in Composition Notebooks like we would use in school as children. I haven't stopped writing them for any length of time up until this past week. Sure, I would miss a day here or there but never a full week.
What happened you ask?
Somebody that has recently re-entered my life for a short time has died. It was someone who I was never particularly close with when I first met them 14 or so years ago. These last few months with this person and the challenges we faced together, were life changing for me. I want to thank Him for his courage and his love of his daughter, I want to thank him for teaching me patience and for all his help through a difficult situation.
I am happy to be writing again and to be reunited with my Morning Pages this morning.
To all of those out there who are writers, artists, painters, I know you understand my words and how much we "feel" our lives. That is why we do what we do.
The words find their way back to us, the paint brush picks its new colors, the sculptor picks up the clay and life begins again.